Abysmal Sex Lives
by Sashocirrione
Summary: After the Kira case fizzled out unsolved, Light married Misa out of a sense of duty. However, he doesn't meet her needs, and years later she finds herself drawn to Light's seductive friend Ryuzaki. Somewhat ambiguous ending.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **"Abysmal Sex Lives"

**Author:** Sashocirrione

**Spoilers:** MAJOR spoilers for everything up to approximately the end of the Yotsuba arc.

**Warnings:** NO UNDERAGE READERS. Sexual activities. Infidelity.

**Summary:** After the Kira case fizzled out unsolved, Light married Misa out of a sense of duty. However, he doesn't meet her needs, and years later she finds herself drawn to Light's seductive friend Ryuzaki. Somewhat ambiguous ending.

**Pairings:** Mainly LxMisa, plus a one-sided LightxMisa, and probably an implied one-sided RemxMisa

**Additional Notes:** The plot diverges from canon in the beginning of this fanfic, in ways that should be obvious in the fic itself. Before that divergence, all canon events happened as normal. I am attempting a multi-POV technique in this fic, where every time there is a switch in POV, it is not necessarily linked to a scene change. The POV style may be rough because I'm still learning this technique. Please let me know if the multi-POV technique ends up messy or confusing.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

Rem waited until they were at Higuchi's home again before she asked the question that everything hinged on.

"Are you still planning to kill Misa a few years after you marry her?"

"Yeah," Higuchi answered. "Why not? It's perfect. Life insurance money is great, monogamy is for fools, models get old fast, and once I've got my hands on her notebook I can always find another sucker to trade for the eyes. Everything makes sense. Hey, don't want to keep her around after I'm bored with her, or give her too much time to get smart and turn on me."

"And what if she won't marry you, or she won't let you use her eyes in your schemes?"

"Well, then I'll kill her right away, of course. After all, she's the only one who knows I'm Kira. She's not more powerful than me just because she has the eyes. As long as both of us have death notes, whoever strikes first wins. One hint of disloyalty, and Misa's dead. I can't chance it any other way."

Rem sighed and closed her eyes; the same desperate plans as before running through her mind. It was settled, then. If Higuchi was determined to write Misa's name, he needed to die. Everything did make sense. Misa was currently free, since she was making a movie, modeling, appearing in magazines, and helping with the Kira investigation. Light's plan had obviously worked and suspicion had drifted away from Misa and focused on Higuchi. No, even better than that. L must trust Misa immensely to employ her in the investigation itself.

With Misa no longer imprisoned, it was not necessary to still be Light's patsy, to follow the rest of his plan, whatever it was. Light had refused to explain it all, and trusting Kira was deadly, Rem knew. Leaving Misa's life in Light Yagami's hands would be immensely foolish.

Just like Higuchi, Light would kill Misa the moment that she became an obstacle to his plans. Light-as-Kira clearly would have done so ages ago if Rem hadn't threatened him back then, and now if Rem became dust, nothing would protect Misa in the slightest. Nothing, that is, except ensuring that Light Yagami would never regain his Kira memories and powers. If no death note was involved, Misa could only die when she ran out of lifespan, no sooner. That was how it was fated.

Waiting until Higuchi was asleep, Rem disabled the mansion's fire alarm system and the sprinklers. She removed Higuchi's death note from its fire-proof safe and placed it on a stack of papers in the center of his desk. Then she set fire to the very flammable, over-stuffed sofa in the corner.

So far, she had done nothing against the rules.

When the fire was crackling merrily and beginning to spread up the curtains, Rem retrieved the magazine with Misa's photo that she'd been reading earlier and stared at the smiling face of the tragic, beautiful girl that she would never see again.

Rem muttered to herself, "This is what I owe you, Misa, for agreeing to that foolish trade that wasted half of the new years Gelus granted you. I do not know what I was thinking at the time, to allow you to bully me into that agreement. As I die today, my remaining lifespan will add to yours and more than restore what I took. May they be happy years."

Rem dropped the magazine so that it lay on the floor open to Misa's photo. As she contemplated it and her own fast-approaching mortality, she wrote Higuchi's name, all the while hearing the rush of flames behind her blazing higher and starting the process of consuming the house. Crumbling into dust herself, Rem knew that all evidence would quickly be destroyed as well, with both death notes burnt to ashes and Light's memories rendered forever unobtainable.

* * *

**THREE YEARS LATER...**

When she answered the doorbell in high spirits and nothing except lingerie and a mini-skirt, it wasn't her husband Light there waiting for her, it was only Ryuzaki.

"Oh, hi!" she said, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

She debated whether to hide behind the open door, but Ryuzaki had already seen her, and she'd appeared in public wearing much more scandalous-looking outfits; the bustier almost looked like several revealing tops she owned. Besides, Light would be home soon and he needed to be reminded once again of what he was missing.

L studied Misa, the probable second Kira who still seemed entirely clueless about the whole thing, before stepping inside and saying, "Did you forget about the chess game I had scheduled with Light?"

"Oh, another one of those!" Misa said, "I'm sorry, Light's not home right now but he should be soon. He didn't upload anything like that to my calendar, but I know he wouldn't forget a game with you. Go, sit on the sofa. I'll get some tea and sweets."

While Misa was assembling a bunch of Ryuzaki's favorite things on a tray, her phone rang and she answered it to hear Light's voice.

"Misa, I'm running late. Tell Ryuzaki to wait for an extra half-hour."

"Okay, Light. Your wife loves you! Kissy kissy!"

In answer, there was nothing but a click of the call disconnecting.

Trying to keep the pain from squeezing her heart, she quickly assembled the rest of Ryuzaki's treats and entered the living room to find him crouched on the sofa, staring in her direction with those big, strange eyes of his.

L watched her approach, thinking, as he always did on these visits. He couldn't stop his mind from re-chewing years-old speculations and trains of thought, deduction upon deduction, even knowing that they would lead nowhere unless some new evidence presented itself. There was something maddening about an unsolved case, and he couldn't leave it alone.

Of course, the only way to do that was to be personally involved in Light's life. Light was far too sharp about surveillance for any other method to work. L always studied them, Light and Misa, waiting for a slip-up that might reveal that needed piece of evidence. Kiras were potentially far too dangerous to leave alone, but they couldn't be incarcerated without absolute proof. That wasn't L's way.

So, he kept coming around, a friendship that was real, as far as Light and Misa knew. It was not unpleasant. Light was an interesting person to talk with, and Misa was alluring. It was the closest thing he had in his life to true socializing. L still refused to call them friends in his own mind. Suspects could never really be friends.

Misa set down the tray before him and he absently took a mochi ball between a thumb and forefinger, squeezing it in an attempt to determine what the filling was while another part of his mind still lingered on the problem of the Kiras. A third train of thought abruptly intruded as he realized tears were trembling on the edges of Misa's lower lids, almost ready to spill over. Attempting to put concern into his tone and to hide his excitement at the chance to earn a little more trust, he chose his words to be comforting and to gently suggest that information was needed.

"What is wrong, Misa?"

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

You probably guessed it: this is another fill for the Death Note Kink Meme #2, which is on LiveJournal at dn_kink2.

The request reads:

"Misa cheats on Light

AU: Light and Misa are married. But Light doesn't show much interest in his hot wife, be it due to work or other reasons.

One day, his best friend Ryuzaki seduces her when he finds her alone.

The kink is Misa really wanting to be faithful to Light and hating the idea of cheating, but being so severely turned on that she just cannot resist."

This is planned as a short multi-chapter fic of probably 2 or 3 chapters, without a fully conclusive ending (in other words, a somewhat ambiguous ending). I haven't done an LxMisa in a while, though I did tuck a little LxMisa ficlet into my _Smutty Shorts _collection.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

A tear flowed down one cheek as the eye on that side abruptly overflowed, followed less than a second later by the other side. Misa rubbed at her face, slightly ashamed at showing _this_ kind of emotion, but she just _needed_ to talk to someone and her model friends would all gossip if she said a word to them and the secret had been trapped inside her too long, raw and sore and desperate to escape.

"Why does Light ignore me? I look like this but he won't touch me at all! Well, he did a couple of times right after we got married but it's turning into _years_ and... and... don't men have needs? Thousands of men must envy Light! There are Misa-Misa fan letters every day about the things that other men want to do with me; the disgusting things they already do with my magazine pictures... but no fetish would be disgusting if Light wanted to do it. I tell him this again and again. Ryuzaki, what's wrong with Misa-Misa?"

L took in her form with an appraising eye and said, "Nothing's wrong with your sex appeal. The modeling agencies wouldn't want you if you weren't substantially better than ninety-nine percent of other candidates. No, it is something with Light rather than yourself. You're a bit too loud and whiney, but that should not put off most men, not when you look like that. A man who lives with you for more than three months and is a target of your affection should prove unable to resist becoming involved in regular sessions of sexual intercourse."

"I'm loud and whiney? Loud and whiney?"

L took a lick of the mochi ball while squeezing it again. He was seventy-five percent certain its center held sweet red bean jam and a slice of fruit, most likely a strawberry. Misa's fists were clenched and she was obviously fuming. Perhaps it had been the wrong thing to say. As usual, Misa had fixated on emotional aspects and needed more help to follow the logic trail in the correct direction.

"Misa, I stated the reason must be with Light. It is not anything _you_ do. The vast majority of men would not resist your advances, as you've basically admitted yourself."

A strange fear seized Misa's heart, and she felt that she already knew the answer. She'd voiced it years ago a few times and tried not to think about it since, but it just made sense and now that the secret was finally being discussed she simply needed to know everything, no matter how painful.

"Is Light... is Light gay? Is that the reason?"

L answered, "There is a very small chance of that, but I think not. Light is most likely asexual, or nearly so. He has shown more signs of being enamored with me than with any other male, and yet he has never made the slightest suggestion or acted as if he wishes to be more than friends. If he were gay, I firmly believe his attempts would start with me."

L sipped his tea thoughtfully and added, "Furthermore, I have not seen evidence of a fling with anyone, and Light does not look at men with a sexual gaze, not even in the public baths or in locker rooms where everyone is naked."

He finished off several treats from the tray while Misa pondered with a dazed expression. She was a very fine-looking woman, and his gaze was drawn to the edge of her thigh where her mini-skirt was riding up as she settled onto the sofa near him, placed her fists between her knees, and sighed deeply. She looked worn-out and he wanted to touch her face, trace the outline of those plump lips, glistening red with wet-look lipstick. He could see a curve underneath where his thumb could easily settle, just as it naturally did under his own lip.

A plan was beginning to assemble in his mind, one with a very low chance of producing new evidence, but it was still a better chance than he'd had in years. Unfortunately, it involved skills that he knew were not his strong points. It would be risky, and unlikely to be worth it, and perhaps contaminated with ulterior motives... but now that the plan was in his mind, it was there to stay, and he couldn't resist thinking it out in detail as if he might truly use it.

L reached for a mini-doughnut with an unsteady hand that he willed into steadiness before pinching up the doughnut and placing it in his mouth. The powdered sugar melted on his tongue with a delightful texture. Food was the safe way to indulge, but sometimes restricting yourself to safety resulted in no new clues. He had almost decided what to say next when Misa unexpectedly broke the silence.

"Why did Light marry me if he's asexual? He knows what I want! I want him to touch me and love me the way every other husband loves his wife."

"Light has a very strong sense of duty. He is driven to do what others expect of him and to maintain his status and his sense of achievement. You are a wife that brings him envy and respect from others. Also, you were adamant early on that Light had wronged you by kissing you and promising to be your boyfriend when he later admitted he didn't know why he had done so."

"I mean, you could be wrong, Ryuzaki, couldn't you? Or maybe, just maybe, Light can be cured of asexuality?"

Misa was trembling, trying to catch her breath. Ryuzaki, he was the man with all the answers, wasn't he? There could be a miracle pill that, perhaps, if Light took it every day he'd want sex all the time. She was heating there, between her legs, thinking about Light coming home each and every night with the same lust she saw on other men's faces.

Yes, Light would loosen his tie, unbutton a bit, then lose patience and simply take her with most of his clothes still on, perhaps roughly on the floor, or the kitchen countertop, or balanced across the sink in the bathroom, or pinned against the wall, furiously rutting.

L considered his next response as he eyed Misa's signs of physical arousal, her parted lips, red-flushed skin, erect nipples pointy under the thin silk fabric of the bustier, legs beginning to subtly part further, and a dozen smaller signs.

"There is no cure for asexuality, Misa."

That was the most useful answer, and technically true. L didn't want to mention the other slight possibilities: that Light was simply very repressive and out of touch with his own sexual desires, or that Light was one of those apparent asexuals who was merely a late bloomer and would gain a sudden appreciation of sex at some point during his early twenties. The first was somewhat more likely if Light were gay and in hard denial, and the latter was somewhat more likely because of Light being a genius. That sort of sudden, late interest in sex was more common among geniuses than among the general population, as L had often observed.

Still, neither of those was a high possibility, and, more importantly, neither was the least bit useful for the direction L was thinking of steering the conversation. Misa was on the verge of a state where it might be possible to become closer to her and gain more trust. She was emotionally vulnerable, she was sexually aroused, and she was confiding about sexual frustration in a friend of a gender that attracted her, a major risk factor for infidelity.

L said, "Studies show that long periods of celibacy are more common than the average person thinks. If you do not wish to divorce Light, you may need training in how to be successfully celibate."

As L had anticipated, a look of despair came over Misa's face at that statement. Emotional vulnerability had been increased.

She sobbed, "I love him. I love my Light."

This next part was the tricky part, L knew. It was where his skills were decidedly not the best. He took a deep breath and said, "We are alike this way. Both of us have abysmal sex lives."

"Huh?"

"I haven't had sex in nearly five years," L explained.

It was the truth. Social situations were difficult to navigate, his work was very absorbing with months at a time being devoted to 17-hour workdays, and L was deeply paranoid about the risks of resorting to prostitutes.

"You don't understand me," Misa wailed, "if you can do that, you're... you're just like Light."

"I'm not asexual. We could collaborate."

The offer was on the table now, but Misa didn't respond to it in any way, not even with surprise. That was quite unlike her. It could only be the result of a misunderstanding on her part.

L repeated, "Misa, we could collaborate. The two of us could solve each other's sexual difficulties."

Understanding dawned on her face and she smiled broadly. L thought he'd gotten through to her until she jumped up, clasped his hands in hers, and blurted out, "You mean you do know how to get Light in the mood! And then Misa-Misa will hook you up with one of her friends! Yay!"

L stared and inwardly scolded himself. It was the tricky part, yes, but he'd blundered in the wrong direction, by not accounting for Misa's level of comprehension. Yet, it was also important to not go too far too fast. What was the correct strategy? Misa had once kissed him with no warning, and people in movies often did just that at a critical juncture in a relationship. She couldn't be too angry about something she'd done herself in the past, could she?

Quickly, L leaned forward over his knees, clasping her hands tighter as he connected their lips. She almost drew away at first, twitching violently but then resistance melted away and she was warm and wet and simply accepting the kiss, her hands twining in his. He could practically feel the nervous tension that must be running through her body, every part of her that was in reach trembling just slightly. He tried to time the kiss to the correct length for her maximum enjoyment, and decided not to try sticking his tongue in this time because that had gone very badly with the last girl he'd tried it on.

When he was done he drew back and looked deeply into her eyes, just like a lover in the movies, and now that he thought about it, he really needed to observe more real-life mating preliminaries in bars and restaurants rather than relying on fiction quite so much. Watari could set up some spy cameras for later study.

He didn't know what to say for a few long seconds as the stare continued and then Misa leaned forward, kissing him again, and it was getting difficult to concentrate on exactly what should be done next.

Shame was eating Misa's heart. It simply felt _too good _to stop, but she knew it was wrong, and the first kiss was Ryuzaki's fault but now it was her fault too. Light would disapprove, wouldn't he? She had a feeling deep down that Light somehow wouldn't mind, that he would perhaps find it a relief for her sexual attention to be directed somewhere else, but that didn't change the _wrongness_ of it. It was a betrayal; she was certain of it.

Light was her husband, and good wives never kissed men other than their husbands. Misa wouldn't even kiss other men in movies; she made a body double do it in close-ups instead, but here she was kissing Ryuzaki, and getting wet too. She simply couldn't stop herself from claiming that sensual mouth with her own. His mouth was a mouth that actually wanted her, a body that was responding to her touches, straining against her.

She could feel need in Ryuzaki's hungry kisses and clutching fingers and the way he was leaning further into her, his knees starting to come down and spread apart. Her instincts responded to that need and she pressed back, wanting skin against skin, remembering the mere two times Light had given in and how good it had felt to be riding his stiff member.

Ryuzaki was the one who broke the kiss, long before she was ready, and that was shameful too, that she hadn't been the one to draw back. He was ruffled, his hair even messier than usual, his breathing hard, and more emotion on his face than she'd seen... in years? Ever?

Misa realized she was just as bad, and her mini-skirt was riding up worse than ever, definitely exposing panties, and she was gulping in air and her hair was falling into her face.

L's mind was trying to scramble in several different directions at once and not doing an adequate job at any of them. He tried to focus everything on what the next step should be in seducing a woman.

L asked, "Do you want to see my penis?"

Misa practically growled as she slapped him hard on the right cheek, a stinging blow that snapped his head to the side. She did it again before he could recover and said, "You pervert!"

And then she was crawling into his lap, straddling him, kissing, kissing hard, and her hands were exploring into his shirt and his jeans at once. He was hard and ready for her, just a scant few layers of clothing in the way waiting to be cast aside, and part of his mind was considering how to get a condom and whether it might break the mood if he asked her if she had one.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, now I've caught up the copies on AO3 and fanfiction dot net to the same point I've got the fic to at the Death Note kink meme. If you've been following it on the kink meme, yeah, there's no new material in chapter 2, sorry about that. I hope to add chapter 3 soon, which I believe will be the last chapter. One reason for the delay is because I realized I incorporate chess in this story while knowing nothing about it, and I had to stop and do a bunch of research so I wouldn't look like a complete fool. If I fail anyway in the next chapter, sorry, I tried.


End file.
